Handling High-Stakes Conversations: 9 Tips for Leaders

Handling emotionallycharged conversations skillfully is crucial to being a successful leader, butmany leaders lack the know-how. The Workplace Coach is here to help.

Maybe you need to broach a contentious topic with a boss, strategic partner or colleague,or bring up a sensitive issue with a team member. You might have to tell a team member something they don’t want to hear, or navigate strong differences of opinion. Whatever the specifics, having those types of conversations is really tough for most of us.

While such high-stakes conversations are challenging, they are also an opportunity to shine as a leader. They can even spark profound positive change. But before warned: If handled poorly, these conversations can really hurt relationships and even harm your reputation.

Following are tips from The Workplace Coach.

1. Prepare mentally & emotionally

Before theconversation, think about the desired outcomes. Be aware of any anxieties,fears or biases you have that might cause you to engage in unproductivebehaviors such as blaming. Take a deep breath and ground yourself so you bring clarity,calm and purpose to the conversation.

2. Setthe stage for success

Begin the conversation by acknowledging the emotions involved and commenting on the positives in the situation. Seek to defuse the conversation and facilitate trust by showing empathy, setting a tone of respect and being open and honest.

3. Focus on shared objectives

Aim for mutual understanding Focus on finding common ground, rather than going for the win. Remind others in the conversation that this is the shared goal, then invite dialogue by asking open-ended questions. Look for ways to re-frame the issue as an opportunity to create something new together.

4. Bean active & curious listener

Listen with keen attention and maintain eye contact. Focus on understanding the other person’s viewpoint, rather than thinking about what you want to say. Pay attention to nonverbal cues that signal unspoken concerns. When you do respond,start by paraphrasing what you heard the other person say. This allows them to feel heard and ensures understanding.

5. Speak skillfully

Keep shared objectives in the forefront of your mind when you speak. Frame your opinions and perspective as being your observations. When giving feedback, be specific and factual. Avoid being judgmental or making the other person wrong. Rather than negating someone’s idea, ask them to explain their thinking.

6. Acknowledge differences

It’s okay to have differing opinions. Instead of pushing back immediately, acknowledge the difference, and try to understand its root cause. Work at being open to differing viewpoints. Often, this openness can lead to new insights andresolutions.

7. Choose the right setting

Choose a setting that is private, free from interruptions and puts both parties at ease.Put away your devices and ask others to do the same so that everyone is fully present.

8. Stay calm & focused

Even if the conversation becomes heated, it's crucial that you, as leader, remain calm.Take deep breaths and pause when necessary. Remember your role is to guide the discussion towards a constructive outcome.

9. Followup & reflect

After a high-stakes conversation, it’s a good idea to schedule a follow-up. This provides an opportunity to reflect on the dialogue, clarify lingering concerns and discuss the way forward. As a leader, you’ll also want to reflect on your own performance, perhaps with the input of an executive coach or leadership coach.

Like it or not, handling high-stakes conversations is an essential part of leadership.

With preparation, a commitment to mutual understanding and skilled listening, you can turn these conversations into defining moments that improve collaboration and relationships. The key is to approach the conversation with the right intent and a willingness to learn and grow.

ABOUT THE WORKPLACE COACH: The Workplace Coach has deep expertise in business leadership.For more than two decades, its award-winning coaches have been partnering with executive coaching and leadership coaching clients and organizations to help them achieve their strategic goals. Leadership coaching clients report success in developing their leadership agility, CEO mindset and executive presence and in using leader-as-coach tools to improve employee engagement and productivity.

Contact The Workplace Coach toprepare your leaders for high-stakes conversations.